Friday, October 31, 2008

Trick or Treat -- Universal Suffrage

Despite popular demand, I do sometimes repost poetry from my poetry blog, Lance Strate's BlogVersed, over here. And given the close proximity, and in my mind confluence, of two great American holidays this year, I thought I would bite the bullet and include this particular entry here on Lance Strate's Blog Time Passing. But since this is the more intellectual of the two blogs, I've decided to add pictures here for the benefit of my better educated readers.

This is the point where someone else would say, "Enjoy!" I don't know about you, but I hate when people say that. I think it's terribly presumptious of them, if you know what I mean. I make no assumptions about whether you will enjoy this or not. In fact, I rather imagine you will suffer through it, if you haven't already clicked away to some other web page or other. So, suffer you shall, that is why the call it suffrage, isn't it?

Universal Suffrage
a poem by
Lance Strate

The monsters are on the loose!
The monsters are on the prowl!
The monsters are on the hunt!
The monsters are after

The monsters are on the move!
The monsters are on the march!
The monsters have hit the trail!
The monsters are after your
Frankenstein for President!
An electrifying speaker
Really gets into the nuts and bolts of the issues
Has a health care plan that will patch you up in no time
Promises to support the technology sector
And increase funding for research and experimentation
Says there's no problem that can't be solved
By using our brainpower
Vows to be gooood to our friennnds
And CRUSH our enemies
His running mate
The Invisible Man
A safe choice
Looks to be a traditional Vice-President
And not call attention to himself
Will keep things under wraps
Believes in the importance of espionage and intelligence
Loves to use new media
Especially IM
But there are some concerns about his stability
And alleged ties to the pharmaceutical industry
Vote or die!
So the monsters cry!
Vote or die!
Dracula for President!
Knows how to handle predatory lenders
And vows to cut the taxes that are sucking the life out of the economy
Experienced to an extreme
Extraordinarily well-seasoned
Ready to lead
Knows how to persuade and command
Skillful in diplomacy
Adept in foreign policy
Will increase defense spending on much need impalements of war
But will not intervene in the internal affairs of other nations
Unless we are invited in
Says he is reluctant to spill even one drop of our young soldiers' blood
On foreign soil
A man of honor and nobility
And faith in the power of religion
His choice for Vice-President
The Mummy
Who says to call him by his nickname
A favorite of beach volleyball moms
And very knowledgeable when it comes to the conflicts of the Middle East
False rumors claim he's a secret Muslim
He counters that his religion is a highly personal matter
Affirms he would be a strong defender of the national treasury
But troubled by the threat of indictment for alleged involvement
In a pyramid scheme
Vote or die!
So monsters cry!
Vote or die!
The Wolfman for President!
Dark horse favorite of the youth
A fierce defender of the environment
And animal rights
But assures us he's no vegetarian
A libertarian who believes in survival of the fittest
And capital punishment
Promises to take a bite out of crime
While maintaining that there is no silver bullet to solve all our problems
An advocate of change
Some accuse him of flip-flopping on the issues
Every month
Some think him too impulsive
Some curse him
And call him lunatic fringe
Especially after picking the Creature from the Black Lagoon
As his Vice-Presidential candidate
Who insists on the need for naval power
Wants to build more nuclear submarines
Supports increased consumption
Tells people to take longer vacations
And go swimming
A favorite son of California
But given the likelihood that the Wolfman could become incapacitated
Voters wonder if the Creature is fit to be President
Or just too green?

Vote for the monster of your choice!
Vote for the monster of your dreams!
Vote and let them hear your voice!
Vote and let them hear your screams!


This poem was written in response to a challenge issued in a poetry group on MySpace as part of a contest for the month of October. The challenge was to write a poem that involved all six of those monsters, all of which appeared in movies produced by Universal Studios, the Hollywood studio that was known for its Famous Monsters from Filmland. And if you are of a certain age, you might remember the way cool magazine of that title. Not surprisingly, it has a website of its own,, not to mention a wikipedia entry. Mostly, I remember the magazine covers, hmmm, if I close my eyes I can almost see them now...

Hmm, that last one is rather poignant, isn't it? The King Kong of 1976 atop the Twin Towers... There are monsters in filmland, but they're nothing in comparison to the monsters in the real world. But let's keep things light, okay?

So, trick or treat! But beware the candied dates, okay? Presidential election campaigns are monsters, so choose your evil, but remember that the really scary part comes after Election Day, when they all take off their masks.


Psst, did you bring the shaving cream, eggs, and toilet paper???

Oh, and let's give The Boss the last word--Halloween Greetings from New Jersey, courtesy of the Jersey Devil:

No comments: